Your tax dollars at work, or: I'm ready for talk-radio

An eel ladder is type of fish ladder designed to help eels swim past barriers, such as dams and weirs or even natural barriers, to reach upriver feeding grounds. (Many eels are catadromous, living in fresh water but spawning at sea.) The basic design of an eel ladder has the eel swim over the barrier using an eel ascending ramp, which provides the eels a climbing substrate to "push against" while slithering upstream. For some higher barriers, elevator-style systems are also used.
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eel_ladder

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Billions of your hard earned dollars are being wasted by the government on eel elevators. It's an outage. When will the eel-friendly liberal media that hates america be brought to accounting? I don't know. How many stories have you heard about eel elevators in the last year? Not one! Not...ONE! What a corrupt media. What a corrupt system. All we can count on are bloggers to expose this giant fraud against the taxpayers.

My next eel related atrocity that you won't hear about in the new york times or that damn hippie bill o'reily:

Eel blood is toxic. The toxic protein it contains is destroyed by cooking. The toxin derived from eel blood serum was used by Charles Robert Richet in his Nobel winning research which discovered anaphylaxis (by injecting it into dogs and observing the effect).
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eel

Hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars went into killing dogs with toxic eel blood, for no reason except to feed the ego of the bloodthrity rapist, murderer, and liar Charles Robert Richet. And all of this is the fault of the clinton administration and thier unholy alliance with arabs, all of whom are muslims, and all of them are terrorists. Eels are smuggling in illegal immigrants, drugs, and weapons, and the government is doing nothing because it's completely subservient to the powerful eel lobby that's ruining america.