I'm a good wingman

A wingman is a man who is expected to support his friend in approaching women. The men often pick a desired woman, who is referred to as the "target." The man intending to seduce the target is often called the "pilot." The wingman is expected to back up the pilot, which typically entails talking to the target's less attractive friend(s) and making comments that will make the pilot seem more attractive. This is often referred to as "taking one for the team."
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wingman_%28social%29

"dude, remember that time you got caught masturbating at that birthday party?"
"this guy *points to 'pilot'* is crazy. Every girl he's ever gone out with has some serious bruises and a restraining order against him."
"You're scractching your junk a lot. Are your herpes flaring up right now, man, or do you have crabs again?