Speaking ill of the dead.
Much too in-depth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only thing that makes her notable is her murder and the ensuing media circus. There's no reason to include information such as
"Sharon Rocha moved to San Jose in 1977, but felt that the city was too large for her. She soon moved back to Modesto. Upon her return to Modesto, her cousin Gwen Kemple introduced her to Ron Grantski. A year and half later, Grantski and Rocha moved into a three-bedroom home with Brent Rocha and Laci Peterson. They never married."
"At Cal Poly, Laci Rocha majored in ornamental horticulture. Her desire was to one day open a specialty plant shop."
"Sharon Rocha feared that Gain would have a negative effect on her daughter's ambitious attitude toward school, but this did not strain the relationship between Gain and Laci. In fact, the two lived together in Laci's new home in Morro Bay, a small town north of Cal Poly."
All of the information in the biography can be condensed into about a paragraph. The sources for this information would be better used to illustrate examples of excessive media coverage and missing white woman syndrome rather than giving the reader every gruesomely mundane detail that has ever been reported by any media source.
Recommendations: a) Trim the biography down to one paragraph. b) Create a section on the quantity and specifics of media coverage. c) merge/delete the 'suspect' part of the article with Scott Peterson, with the exception of the delightfully tasteful few sentences on "finding the body".
I will do this in the next few days. If anyone has any concerns or ideas for a major revamp of the article, let me know and we can collaborate. Detruncate 04:31, 30 July 2006 (UTC)
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Laci_Peterson
I was going to add a section about Himmler being an agrinomicist and wanting to own a farm one day and playing matchmaker but having difficulty meeting girls because of his firm catholic beliefs to illustrate the idea of excessive article depth. I chose not to, because I am very wise and not everyone respects the amateur social engineering himmler dabbled in.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only thing that makes her notable is her murder and the ensuing media circus. There's no reason to include information such as
"Sharon Rocha moved to San Jose in 1977, but felt that the city was too large for her. She soon moved back to Modesto. Upon her return to Modesto, her cousin Gwen Kemple introduced her to Ron Grantski. A year and half later, Grantski and Rocha moved into a three-bedroom home with Brent Rocha and Laci Peterson. They never married."
"At Cal Poly, Laci Rocha majored in ornamental horticulture. Her desire was to one day open a specialty plant shop."
"Sharon Rocha feared that Gain would have a negative effect on her daughter's ambitious attitude toward school, but this did not strain the relationship between Gain and Laci. In fact, the two lived together in Laci's new home in Morro Bay, a small town north of Cal Poly."
All of the information in the biography can be condensed into about a paragraph. The sources for this information would be better used to illustrate examples of excessive media coverage and missing white woman syndrome rather than giving the reader every gruesomely mundane detail that has ever been reported by any media source.
Recommendations: a) Trim the biography down to one paragraph. b) Create a section on the quantity and specifics of media coverage. c) merge/delete the 'suspect' part of the article with Scott Peterson, with the exception of the delightfully tasteful few sentences on "finding the body".
I will do this in the next few days. If anyone has any concerns or ideas for a major revamp of the article, let me know and we can collaborate. Detruncate 04:31, 30 July 2006 (UTC)
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Laci_Peterson
I was going to add a section about Himmler being an agrinomicist and wanting to own a farm one day and playing matchmaker but having difficulty meeting girls because of his firm catholic beliefs to illustrate the idea of excessive article depth. I chose not to, because I am very wise and not everyone respects the amateur social engineering himmler dabbled in.
posted by Tristan Tzara at 7:37 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home